Wallowing...

Okay, I admit it. I am wallowing in misery. Most moms are happy and relieved when summer is over. They go out to breakfast with their friends to celebrate. They enjoy the peace and quiet. They breathe a sigh of relief and put up their feet for a minute.

I hate the first day of school as a mother.

I don't enjoy sending my children back to school. I love the lazy, unscheduled days of summer. I like having a house full of people. I like having family around.

Even at this stage of life, with only "two children" left, I still feel the pangs when another school year is officially gone and the summer is over and they are another year closer to leaving home for good...Having Maddie and Amy home for the summer was great.

Don't get me wrong. I like my solitude and the opportunity to get my work done in peace and uninterrupted quiet. I enjoy being able to pick up and go without worries if I need to go get plans or (unexpected joy these days!) a check. I don't mind being able to change my schedule on the spur of the moment or meet a friend or Jeff for lunch without feeling guilty.

But, I miss my kids. I miss hearing their background noise and the stories they are always telling me. I miss having someone around who's always hungry or busy or needy. I miss having something to do for someone all the time. (I know-try telling that one to a mother of preschoolers! Been there, done that!)

I know it is a necessary part of life, and of course I want my children to grow up and live productive, independent, joyful lives. It just leaves me a little lonesome and sad...